College Station Doctor

Man oh man, its just so funny, still….

Here are some good ones we have heard, please post yours below as well.

I was interviewing an elderly man who was being admitted to my unit. I finally got to the cardiovascular conditions and asked him if he had angina. He replied “Why no! That is a female part.” – Submitted by April Cummings

When I was a student a nursing colleague of mine was asked by a patient if his testes had gone black. Silently she pulled the screens around the bed, asked him to drop his pyjama bottoms and had a look. ‘No everythings fine,’ she reassured him, ‘What made you think something was wrong?’ ‘I didn’t think anything was wrong,’ he replied, ‘I only asked if my test results had come back.’ Submitted by: Julia Macdonald

One day, we had a very confused patient sitting at the nursing station. We kept her near the nursing station so we could monitor her safety. The woman kept insisting to all who could hear that she was pregnant and in labor. Our medical director came walking down the hall just in time to hear all the commotion. He began to assess her and interview her regarding her “labor pains”. He asked the patient exactly how she could have become pregnant at her age. She gave him a very bewildered look and said matter-of-factly ‘Why if you don’t know by now doctor, I don’t feel like it’s my place to tell you!’

Someone at work posted a copy of some of the stories from your site so I had to look it up myself. I especially enjoyed this section.” One question on our admission form is designed to assess a patient’s orientation: “where are you now?” Many times the answer is “I’m right here!” Enjoyed the site and I’ll be back.

A nurse at the beginning of the shift places her stethoscope on an elderly and slightly deaf female patient’s anterior chest wall. “Big breaths,” instructed the nurse. “Yes, they used to be,” remorsed the patient.

One day I had to be the bearer of bad news when I told a wife that her husband had died of a massive myocardial infarct. Not more than five minutes later, I heard her reporting to the rest of the family that he had died of a “massive internal fart.”

I was performing a complete physical, including the visual acuity test. I placed the patient twenty feet from the chart and began, Cover your right eye with your hand.” He read the 20/20 line perfectly. “Now your left.” Again, a flawless read. “Now both,” I requested. There was silence He couldn’t even read the large E on the top line. I turned and discovered that he had done exactly what I had asked; he was standing there with both his eyes covered.

A nurses’ aide was helping a patient into the bathroom when the patient exclaimed,”You’re not coming in here with me. This is a one-seater.”

During a patient’s two week follow-up appointment with his cardiologist, he informed his doctor that he was having trouble with one of his medications. “Which one?”, asked the doctor. “The patch.” The nurse told me to put on a new one every six hours and now I’m running out of places to put it!” The doctor had him quickly undress and discovered what he hoped he wouldn’t see….Yes, the man had over fifty patches on his body! Now the instructions include removal of the old patch before applying a new one.

While acquainting myself with a new elderly patient, I asked, “How long have you been bedridden?” After a look of complete confusion she answered, “Why, not for about twenty years-when my husband was alive.”

And of course, the best is saved for last…. A nurse caring for a woman from Kentucky asked, “So how’s your breakfast this morning?” “It’s very good, except for the Kentucky Jelly. I can’t seem to get used to the taste,” the patient replied. The nurse asked to see the jelly and the woman produced a foil packet labeled “KY Jelly.”

A Hospital has made and app to help its business.

Advancing health care with iPhone.

With thousands of doctors, nurses, and administrators in 11 hospitals — including the busiest trauma center in the country — Memorial Hermann Healthcare System depends on the latest mobile technologies to streamline its services and deliver better patient care. iPhone and state-of-the-art medical apps like AirStrip OB let Memorial Hermann’s physicians keep a finger on patients’ pulses even when they can’t be at their bedsides.

Dear Colleague:

The U.S. Senate on Tuesday fell short of the 60 votes necessary to begin debate on S 1776 by Sen. Debbie Stabenow (D-Mich.) [PDF], the “Medicare Physician Fairness act of 2009.” The motion failed on a vote of 47-53. Both senators from Texas – John Cornyn and Kay Bailey Hutchison – voted “no” along with all of their Republican colleagues and numerous Democrats in a roll-call vote whose outcome was known even before it began.

The bill would have repealed the SGR formula [PDF] and eliminated the $245 billion debt that has accumulated under the current payment system [PDF] and driven down physicians’ Medicare payments year after year. It also would have stopped the planned 21-percent cut in fees scheduled for Jan. 1, eliminated the $245 billion debt that has accumulated under the SGR, and laid the foundation for a new Medicare payment update system. Under this bill, physicians over the next decade would have received a zero-percent update, but it would have been the first step in the process of working to get a fair payment system. Until we can eliminate the SGR and the accumulated debt, we have no hope of getting a positive update system.

There is widespread agreement among Republicans and Democrats that the formula is broken and must be repealed. Shortly after Tuesday’s vote, Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (D-Nev.) said he will bring up a bill to freeze physicians’ Medicare payments for one year after Congress passes broader health system reform. Congress has placed such temporary Band-Aids on the broken SGR formula in the past. Those actions have not only delayed our path to a reasonable Medicare payment system, but also created the deep $245 billion debt that is now one of the principal obstacles to permanent reform.

TMA’s focus has been clear: We need a rational Medicare physician payment system that automatically keeps up with the cost of running a practice and is backed by a stable funding source. Although S 1776 would not have provided such a solution, it was the only legislative vehicle that would have eliminated the $245 billion debt. Every year that passes without elimination of the SGR brings about the potential for even deeper cuts the following year.

We are extremely grateful for the hundreds of physicians, medical students, alliance members, and patients who contacted Senators Hutchison and Cornyn and asked them to support S 1776. Strong and continued grassroots action will be absolutely essential if we are to make any progress on this seemingly intractable issue or if we are to have productive input on the continuing congressional health care debates.

Sincerely,

William H. Fleming III, MD
President
Texas Medical Association

Most internet sites that report on salaries lump doctors together, usually Family Practice.  So depending on what certain specialty the doctor is in is hard to pin point, unless of course you just go up and ask them.

But from the resources I have found, you can see the average salary.

Not that bad.  The national average is $168,000 so for the cost of living difference I would say that is very good for this community.  Not to mention that $157,000 goes along way in our town.  Course, you can only go to Wings N More so often I guess, but would love to test it.

We will try and track the this amount in the coming years and see how the Brazos Valley keeps up with the national average for the medical community.  Seems most employers here underpay people cause they can, while doctors seem to be about right.

From the Med:

From the UPA Facebook Page

University Pediatric Association must temporarily stop scheduling new appointments for flu shots and FluMist vaccine. Due to the unprecedented demand for vaccinations this season, our current supply has been almost completely exhausted. If you already have an appointment scheduled… for flu vaccinations, please contact the office to confirm vaccine availability. We have more vaccine on order, and we will post here when it arrives.

Than follows with

We are scheduled to receive H1N1 vaccine as the Texas Department of Health makes it available to providers. It should be soon. We’ll be using Facebook to provide updates. When the H1N1 vaccine becomes available, we will post to this page.

This and other info about flu season is included in other posts on this page. If you have any questions about vaccines for your children, please visit upadocs.com and email us through the Contact UPA page.

Where else can kids get the flu shot in College Station?

One of the most overlooked people in the medical community is the Chaplain.  A doctor may have to tell a loved one some sad news, the chaplain only deals with sad news.  A day after day emotional battle to see the pain/sadness of life and try to remain positive and hopeful.

So when you are choosing a hospital, this may or may not need to be considered.  But if you see one in the hall you should respect the hard work and long nights they put in to see the emotional and spiritual healing they bring.

This site is made to help you get information and knowledge about the doctors practicing in Bryan/College Station area. Please feel free to contact us if you have any information or additions to our site as we expand it more and more to assist you.

This site does not give medical advise and does not endorse any doctor as their practices in the office are not known to the site. Information given is for display, informative, advertising reasons only and does not deem itself a medical authority.